Counselling and Chronic Illness - Is it Worth It?

In this article, I discuss the question, is it worth taking personal counselling if you have a chronic illness?

Here's my short answer. Yes. But I guess ytou might need a little more info than just that, so here goes.

My doctor (who was very good witrh me) recommended I have some counselling and she proceeded to put me forward for a few sessions with the NHS.

They were obviously overwhelmed, as I heard nothing for over a year. It was then, and because of my mental health, that I decided to go private and arrange it myself, even though personal funds were low.

So I scoured a counselling website and found all the therapists that lived within driving distance. It was important for me to see my counsellor face to face for the first few sessions at least because I preferred the extra connection you can experience.

Eventaully, I found one whose bio resonated with me and I emailed her a few questions before arranging the first appointment. She answered in the perfect tone for me and with answers that made sense. So I chose her.

I Was in Mourning...

By the 2nd session, we had both established that I was grieving... literally in mourning from my diagnosis!

This can sound a little crazy, but it was true. I was grieving. I was grieving my former life as I knew it. My whole identity had virtually changed - overnight.

Suddenly, I wasn't able to do the physical and mental tasks that I had been able to do for all my working life.

Here is a brief synopsis of things I could no longer do (for brevity, I am not listing them all)

• I couldn't focus on tasks - and even focusing for 5 or 10 minutes could exhaust me. I would need to sleep after doing anything that required any level of mental strain

• Walking my old Jack Russel, Mr. Milo, became impossible. Before my chronic illness we both enjoyed half hour walks in the fields. Now, I was struggling to walk him 50 or 60 metres down to the lakeside path (there was a short incline on the way back!)

• I could't read my books. After years of reading 1 to 2 books a month, every month, I was struggling to muster two or three pages at a time. Even then, when I went back to reading it, I would have to reread one page that I had already read! Frustrating.

• I suffered panic attacks when going into supermarkets or any shop that was busy come to that. I kept trying but each time the panic got worse. I was almost passing out. In my previously life, I used to speak on stage to over 400 people and conduct mind seminars to 50. I still cannot go into a big supermarket on my own without suffering an attack.

• I couldn't get over to my kids or grandkids. I had no energy to go see my family. I would be drained when I did go and would then be couch-ridden for 3 to 5 days afterwards. With M.E./CFS this is referred to as Post Exertional Malaise and, under fibromyalgia as a 'flare up'. Previously, I visited every other weekend.

• Some days, I am so exhausted that I literally have to choose in the morning between eating breakfast or having a shower... as my energy levels do not allow me to do both. And on the really bad days, I still cannot get out of the sofa for like 3 days, sometimes a week or even longer.

• This is not including my restless leg syndrome, IBS, painful aching legs, joints and muscles throughout my body

The worst aspect of this chronic illness... not being able to work. I was a self-employed card reader but not knowing if I would be well enough to give some spiritual coaching or a reading on a specific date, I had to jack it in.

And who is going to employ a 63 year old man whose CV will containg the following criteria.

• Due to brain fog, it takes him 3 to 4 times longer to comprehend basic new tasks (and you'll have to repeat again later)

• He can work possibly for 2 to 3 hours over the course of a week. However, these hours cannot be fixed as his disability fluctuates and he has no idea when he spare those few hours

• Even if you do employ him, he may still need a sleep for half an hour at anytime he is working for you

• He will have to have a role that is working from home as he cannot use public transport on his own (and the travelling will only deplete his energy levels anyway).

So now you can perhaps get an understanding of how depressed I was with my "new life". I was and always have been, a go-getter. In my previous life I was a CEO, a Group Business Director, successful start-up entreprenuer and a world class copywriter whose services were in high demand.

I was also a mind coach to CEO's, authors, sport's pros and the like. I am a published author but writing my next print book is nigh on impossible, at the moment. Or, it will take me an extra 2 years, lol.

I sank so low that until I went to counselling, I was starting to ask myself as what was the point in carrying on if i could no longer do anything? I was thinking these thoughts far too frequently for my liking.

But the counselling did help my chronic illness.; it helped my mental approach. My counsellor was able to shine new ligh and offer me fantastic new perspectives. She really ensured that I came to terms with my chronic illness. I seriously believe, this saved my life.

Do I still have my chronic illness? Sure. Does it still get me down from time to time? Absolutely it does. Do I still think of throwing in the towel? Hmm, now and again, I have. Do I still suffer with the same symptoms as before? Yes, I do.

But again, I have new ways of looking at things as I move slowly into the 5th Stage of Grief: Acceptance.

So, is counselling worth it for chronic illness? In my opinion it is, without a shadow of a doubt. I must just add here, I was not using C. B.T. in my counselling.

Of course, it is not for everyone and if you do go ahead it is critical that you get a counsellor who you have an unbreakable rapport with. But if you have thought about taking counselling for your chronic illness, then that mere thought may mean it's worth you giving it a shot.

Anyhoo, this article took me almost 3 hours to write (half an hour before, lol) and I do need to go and rest for a while.

Thanks for reading.

You can find the great counsellor I used right here Stephanie Gilbert Counsellor.